30 It's Hard for Me to Say I'm Sorry
by ccmal
Summary: Laura has trouble apologizing to Almanzo. 30th in the series


**It's Hard for Me to Say I'm Sorry**

LHOP inspired fan fiction by Cheryl C. Malandrinos

Disclaimer: I do not own the Little House on the Prairie television series, book series, or any of the characters.

Laura felt ashamed. All Manly tried to do was show enthusiasm over wanting children and she had blasted him. Terse words flew from her mouth, reminding him she wanted to teach two more years before they started a family.

It bothered Laura all day long, but the intense guilt crippled her attempts at apologizing. Almanzo had been busy anyway. They were preparing for the arrival of Almanzo's older brother Royal and his family who were stopping in Walnut Grove for a short visit before leaving on a holiday.

"Honey, I'm home." Laura heard her husband's voice through the house.

"Up here," she screamed back.

Almanzo's boots thumped up the stairs. "Still cleanin?" he asked, entering the bedroom.

"I'm almost done. Did you get everything we need from the Mercantile?"

"Yeah. We're all set."

"Good. I think I'll make an extra apple pie and some biscuits tonight."

Laura's feet left the floor as Almanzo scooped her up in his arms. "I love your apple pie," he said, kissing her tenderly.

"It's not for you. It's for Royal and Millie."

Almanzo's lips brushed against hers then traveled down her cheek to her neck. His teeth nibbled on her soft skin. "Can I have some now?" he teased.

She pushed him away. "You're impossible. Now get out of here and let me get my work done."

He shuffled out of the room like a naughty child who had been scolded, his head hung low. He glanced back at Laura with sad eyes. 'Great, now I feel even worse,' she said to herself.

Almanzo went to bed before her. Supper had been a silent affair and Laura's pangs of guilt tugged at her heart. Why didn't she just apologize and get it over with?

Laura turned down the lamps in the parlor and wandered upstairs. She found Almanzo reading the newspaper in bed. He looked up for a moment, but said nothing. She unrolled her hair and brushed it out, looking through her vanity mirror every few seconds to see if he was watching her. She snuck behind the screen to change into her nightgown and sighed before slipping under the sheets next to her husband.

Thinking a book might calm her mind she picked one off the nightstand. After a few seconds she slammed it down on the quilt. "Oh for goodness sake!"

"What's wrong?" asked Almanzo.

"Me, that's what's wrong." A look of confusion clear on is face, Laura took his hand in hers. "I'm sorry about this morning. I never should have spoken to you that way. I know you want children, but I…"

Almanzo put a finger up to her lips. "I'm the one who should be sorry. I know how ya feel about it. I shouldn't have brought it up."

Now she felt horrible--not only was he understanding, he was taking the blame. "I appreciate that Manly, but I shouldn't have gotten so angry. It's just that I worked really hard for my teaching certificate and I want to get some use out of it."

"The extra money don't hurt either."

Laura nodded. "There is one other thing. I know it's silly and selfish, but I…I like it being just the two of us. Now that I'm married, I can't imagine how Ma and Pa managed to get any privacy. One of us was always running to them with our problems." A huge sigh escaped from her lips. "I'm not sure I'm ready to share you yet."

Lowering her head, she feared what he might think of her. Almanzo rolled onto his side and snuggled in close. Lifting her chin he gazed into her big brown eyes and smiled the crooked smile that always melted her heart.

"Ya know, that's kinda how I feel about your teachin. It's like I have to share you with a bunch of kids and their parents all the time. Each night ya grade papers and plan lessons. Sometimes I come home and just wanna kiss ya, but there's a student at our kitchen table and I havta hide how much I love ya."

Laura's eyes grew wide. "Really?" He nodded. "Why didn't you ever say anything?"

"Because like you said, 'It's selfish.' I just can't help it. Sometimes I see ya workin and I wanna whisk ya away and take ya up to the bedroom with me."

Laura smirked. "Well, I'm in the bedroom now."

Almanzo smiled at her. "That ya are." He reached over and turned down the lamp. His kiss full of passion, she melted underneath him.

"Mmmm...Almanzo."

"Yeah Sweetheart."

"I'll be happy no matter when I get pregnant."

"Does that mean we can start tryin right now?" He laughed.

"Don't push your luck."

The night flowed through to the next morning. Laura rolled over and saw Almanzo sleeping soundly. She stared at him for a few moments, his wavy blond hair catching the first glints of sunlight peeking through the curtains. She knew one day their house would be filled with the laughter of children, but for now she was content with listening to his steady breathing and knowing he belonged only to her.


End file.
